Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Quick question for my audience

What is the right reaction to this antagonizing behavior?

Confrontational situation:

You walk in and calmly and explains the problem and ask for it to be addressed reasonably.

Your opponent stands up, defensively, and says loudly (so that everyone can hear his signal for this attack)

"Huan. STAY CALM! I know you are very upset, But let's be reasonable here, what you say is not the case and that we are right and you are wrong."

People on his side on seeing this attack pattern will swoop in and follow suit:

"Please, Huan, stay calm! There is no need to be so upset!"

At this point, all I have stated were the facts and then I stand there and listen to three people accusing me of being UNCALM and UNREASONABLE.

Now, if I reacted in any way, ("what are you talking about? I am calm!!", "But here are the facts...", "Would not be reasonable if xyz were the case instead"...) I will be met with the same

"Huan, stay calm! Let's be reasonable here."


And try as you might, your reasoning, your composure will not remove the coloring that your opponent in this meeting are putting on you. In fact, maintaining composure and not react to the obvious provocation is quite a challenge.

Later on, in a court of law, everyone in the room will say:

"We tried to reason with Huan but he was very agitated, we tried to calm him down, in fact we have recordings of us saying 'CALM DOWN HUAN!!'" and he just exploded!


What is the correct response to this kind of attack pattern? I mean, there doesn't really seem to be any option left for me, and the only exit, that would not lessen my ground in court, is an immediate and silent departure.


Hypothetically speaking, for those of you who are monitoring my blog for pay or glory. This blog entry does not purport to be related to an actual situation that have or will take place before, after, or on the instant of this blog entry's posting.

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